The Secrets to Feeling Good
First of all, this isn’t about how to feel positive all the time. To me, that’s not human nature – that’s not even natural! We all have our down moments, even down days. This is about acknowledging when there’s a problem; accepting it and being about to move on: swiftly. Read on. And we all have times when we think it’s no use I can’t do this! Below are 5 different and easy ways to help you move on: swiftly. You can use all 5 or pick the one or maybe two that suit you best. Either way moving on can take as little as two minutes if you really want it to…
5 quick, simple, and easy steps to feeling good.
1) Pity Parties
2) Anchors
3) Re-affirmations
4) Confidence Idols
5) Look Good, Feel Good
Pity Parties
Recently I called a friend of mine, stopping me mid-flow, she said she was having a pity party and could she call me back in hour an hour when it’d be over? True to her word half an hour later she called back and was once again herself. She’d had a couple of problems at work and needed to scream, shout, bang cupboard doors/desks/drawers and stomp to the coffee machine. Once she’d done all this within a self-agreed timescale, and only then, could she move on. After all she couldn’t do anything to change or fix the problem, so, she just fixed herself.
Anchors
Remember when you were a small child? Each time you cried, you got picked up and hugged. Yes? This would probably make you cry a little bit harder? Now, as adults when we get upset another adult only has to look at us in a sympathetic way, let alone put their arms out to give us a hug and we all but crumble into tiny pieces. Agree? This is because the childhood hug has created a negative anchor – a movement or touch which is synonymous with a feeling. We get the hug, we get the cry! So, all you have to do is create a positive anchor. And this is how you do it…
Remember a time when you felt really happy/confident/motivated etc, re-live that time – hear what you heard, see what you saw and feel all the same feelings you felt at that time. Make all the colours in the picture really rich, bright and intense. Once you can really feel the changes in every fibre of your being press your middle finger and thumb together on each hand and wallow in the feelings until they begin to subside then let go. Practice this, press your fingers back together and watch and feel the feelings naturally come back to you! This is a really powerful tool and can be used to change your state of mind whenever you want to.
Re-affirmations
This is short and sweet. Do you often hear yourself saying “you can’t do that!” or “you won’t be able to do this?” Each time you hear that voice, tell it to STOP! And completely turn that voice on its head and say the exact opposite “you can do that” “you will be able to do it!” It’s about re-training your brain, start doing it and start seeing some really positive results. This trick will also show you just how negative we can be about ourselves. Henry Ford said: whether you believe you can or you believe you can’t you’re probably right.
Idols
We all have people we admire on the TV, magazines or at work. Don’t we? Perhaps it’s Cheryl Cole, Jennifer Aniston or the person who sits next to you at the office. They always appear confident, in control and able to deal with any situation that is thrown their way. How do they do it? Well, they’re human just like the rest of us; however, let’s model their seemingly good behaviour and try it on for size. You’ll need a mirror for this exercise. Imagine (insert name) standing in front of you. Step into (insert name) How does he/she feel? What is he/she wearing? What is her/his internal dialogue? What is he/she saying? Where does he/she feel it, i.e. stomach, head, chest? Give the feeling a colour, move it to where he/she feels good. Move the colour and push it from top to bottom. Increase the brightness and double it again. Staying in this person’s perspective, open your eyes, what do you see and feel? Finally, remember a time when someone paid you a compliment. Close your eyes and re-live the compliment. This can all be added to your anchor to make it really, really strong.
Look Good, Feel Good
And finally, unless you look your best, can you really feel your best? Dull skin and drab clothes makes us feel dull and drab! So, ditch the browns and blacks and grab a bit of colour – even if you can only manage small steps. Perhaps you start with a thin red belt, a shade brighter on the lip gloss or a more cheerful necklace? Small steps lead to big changes and you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes and the compliments you start to receive.
Now, there are appropriate times to feel low and you know these without me having to list them. So, next time you feel low, check, is this appropriate and have these feelings gone on too long. If you answer yes to the latter start using the tools and notice the difference. Life is not too short; it’s too long to be unhappy…